(Originally Written Thursday, December 22, 2005)

My beloved sports fans:

I am sick to death of having a Happy Holiday. Instead this year I think I may just have a Merry Christmas instead. Now, I know this might surprise one or two of you in my studio audience, but CHRISTmas is about Jesus CHRIST. Thence the name. I am sick to death of people saying "Well what about the Jews?" If you're Jewish and someone wishes you a Merry Christmas then wish them a Happy Hanukkah. It's not rocket science! And as for all you non-religios, if you don't like Jesus then don't celebrate his birthday. You people sicken me, you bastards who walk up to me and when I say Merry Christmas you reply with Happy Holidays. Happy Holiday, according to a person I met before one of my exams, is non-offensive. Well let me tell you something: Celebrating one of my religion's most sacred holidays when you don't believe in my Lord and Saviour if offensive to me. Eat bleach and die you politically correct person of a bitch. Or is it people because person has son in it? I've lost track.

Today I heard a commercial where they were singing Silent Night; a song about the Night JESUS CHRIST was born. They had cleverly cut it so it read as such:

Silent Night,

Holy Night,

Sleep in Heavenly Peace.

They didn't cut the word heavenly out CALL THE POLICE! What did they cut out?

All is calm; all is bright (non-offensive so far...)

Round yon Virgin, mother and Child,

Holy infant so tender and mild.

Sweet Jesus, they're talking about my Sweet Jesus! I had no idea that a song that doubles as a hymn was about my Lord! 

So just a public notice to all you atheists (and to a lesser extent you agnostics) stop abusing my God.

Also:

To the African Americans, have a nice Kwanzaa. Let your reflections remember your ancestors and the Kwanzaa allow you to give thanks for the freedoms you know enjoy. [Kwanzaa is a holiday where African Americans celebrate the seven days of blackness: Umoja (unity), Kujichagulia (Self-determination), Ujima (Collective work and responsibility), Ujamaa (Cooperative economics), Nia (Purpose), Kuumba (Creativity) and Imani (Faith).] 

To the Jewish, have a happy Hanukka. Use this time to remember that God promised your culture and country to you for eternity and celebrate that no one has been able to permanently take that away from you. God bless your friends and families. 

To the Christians, have a merry Christmas. Use this time to remember that no hope is lost and that Jesus was a wonderful gift on to the world. God bless your friends and family. 

To the Muslims, I hope you had a good Ramadan. I'm not sure of the purpose of this holiday so at the risk of sounding offensive, may your God bless you during your fasting and afterwards as well. 

To the Agnostics, may you find your way. I won't try to coerce you into my religion, save for saying that there is not one of you who cannot win the kingdom. You need to find your own way but please remember that being agnostic means asking questions, even the hard ones, and finding your way to where you need to be. 

To any I have forgotten, be blessed.

To you atheists, enjoy your stay in hell. No, seriously.

Love,

The Doctor.

PS

I know that sounded a little angry and pretentious but I've been listening all day to Christmas Carols at work that are more properly names Holiday Carols due to their butchered renditions without my Lord's name in it. I therefore believe I am right to be angry. I'm sure you'll get a nice Christmas post later on when I'm cooled down but for now I shall stir up a little controversy, eh?