(Originally Written Wednesday, December 28, 2005)

The following is a list of people who's death I would not shed a tear over: 

Everyone whose last name does not have an e in it. 

Yes, I know this would cause some trouble, but if they're going to die they should go ahead and do it and decrease the surplus population. There are no acceptions to my "e" rule but some people gots to get married quick-like. I made a list of e-less people and a way they could escape the enocide. 

Emily Burd: Well, technically, if we're commonlaw, you can use my last name and I can use yours so you just go ahead and call yourself Emily Gale, mkay?

Jordan Fallak: You're going to have to marry Ben Stiller. I know, I know, but it must be done. 

Sam Jackson: Since we fight so much we might as well get married. Not only would we get to fight more but you escape certain death. Plus Sammy Gale has a certain ring to it.

Xandra Smith: Marry Nicolas Wionzek, No reasons or anything, just do as I command svp.

Yeah, I totally had a huge list of people with eless names but I forget most of them. So if your name does not have an e, or if you don't like the above choices, comment away and I'll think something up on the spot. Improv is good for the penis.

Soul, I mean soul. 

Love,

The Doctor