(Originally Written Wednesday, February 22nd, 2006)

Throughout time, or at least the time I’ve been writing (and let’s face it that time has been little and mostly filled with professors criticising it) I’ve had to come across one major criticism. Though my work is coherent it is often not cohesive. I usually refute this point by saying that my work is neither coherent nor cohesive and by sticking out my tongue. You may have read some of my work, on this site or on my homepage or with the Stags or, if I have a book written by the time you read this, in my book. You may have no idea what I, or they, mean when I, or they, say that I, or I, am not cohesive. What is meant it that my works do not line up with each other. 

My favourite work so far was the work in which I argued that if Star Wars met Star Trek in a fight, Star Wars would win. I like it because it’s very nerdy and, though it is funny, it also seriously argues the point well. I hope someone has read this before reading what I’m writing now because it’s just a great essay. I laugh every time I read it. But enough plugging myself here, I have to make a point with what I’m doing now. And that point is I wrote a second essay explaining how if Star Wars met Star Trek in a fight, Star Trek would win. Why would I write two conflicting essays? Simply put, I changed my mind.

I constantly change my mind on things. Despite the fact that you can never be sure on anything until you’ve explored the topic on every angle, there is always new information being added to the mix. When I was growing up you couldn’t turn on the TV without seeing a commercial telling you that marijuana rewires your brain and turns you into an idiot. Then I went to high school and a lot of people who did dope were in fact idiots. But then I met one girl who smoked pot regularly and was in fact an honour role student. And not just barely an honour role student, I’m talking mid-to-high nineties. That’s when it occurred to me: maybe it’s not pot that turns people into idiots but just idiots who do pot. I mean, think about the people you know who smoke up. A good chunk of the ones who do it publicly were not your major Einsteins to begin with. Just so you know I don’t even think about this topic anymore and am undecided on the marijuana issue. I don’t smoke it; I don’t feel like trying it so I usually shut up about it. But if not for that one girl, that new data into my equation, I’d still be vehemently against it.

Ideas can change. Beliefs can’t. I know, I know, if you’ve ever seen Dogma you’re going to think I’m plagiarising here. But just let me say, Kevin Smith, if you ever read this, you are my hero. I watch all your movies and just love them. I hope I don’t get my pants sued off for having similar ideas to you.

Now where was I? Ah yes. Beliefs are not changeable. There are very few beliefs I have in life. I believe that God loves me and that I love God. I believe my parents love me and I love them. I believe in my two best friend’s love (Emily and Nic) and the on going support I will always get from Ian, Nick, Devin and Matt. Those are pretty much where my beliefs end. Even those beliefs I had to fight to add them in. Grade 8, I had to figure out whether or not Christianity was my thing. I can also remember times when I wondered whether or not my parents loved me (because I was a silly little twit). I also remember having a fight with Emily and when Nic had a party back in grade 10 and didn’t invite me. It turned out later that he thought I was away camping or something. My point is those beliefs were fought and won.

My ideas are constantly changing. I have an idea that I really like people and parties when in fact I much prefer to hang out with three to five people in a quieter setting. I believe I like to stay out late when I in fact like to be home earlier. This is one that is changing; I’m finally beginning to enjoy coming in at three. Today when I came in I had the idea that the door would be locked but it wasn’t. They even left the light on for me. 

I have an idea that I need to write. It’s slowly turning into a belief. I may write a book, I may write articles for the rest of my life. I may take back up my poetry or start playing the trombone professionally. The point is, I don’t know. I do seem to have the idea in me that an article in my LJ needs to be more than one page long. I’m going to have to ask you people out there that have me one their friends page to excuse me. Hey, it gives you something to read in the mornings though, right?

Why am I writing this? Is it an attempt to sound deep? No. I tend to sound deep without trying sometimes. And then two minutes later I’m writing some other article about how that deep thing I wrote is wrong because I changed my mind. Is it some deep ingrained urge, or a previous life imposing on me? No, I don’t believe in those. Or rather I don’t idea them, which doesn’t make sense in that sentence but screw it anyway. Am I trying to be funny? Probably not. Usually I am but today’s seems to be a little on the serious side. 

The real reason I’m writing this is simple. I drank a Rockstar. Rockstar Energy Drinks, which I shall from now on call REDs, are something I tend to drink semi-frequently. Specifically before essays or midterms. The sugar gives me a little rush and the caffeine keeps me awake. Also, since of late I only drink them before writing, it tends to prep my body to think of deep thoughts for professors to put check marks on. Also, caffeine upsets my stomach. I can’t sleep. I don’t know if I have the time correct on this but I’ll give you some grounds to think about it. Universal Time right now is 0700. Local time (EST) is 0200. The time I’m attuned to due to my schedule at school (PST) is 2300. American standard time (JSP (this stands for Je ne sais pas, because I don’t know the acronym for it)) is 0100. So I don’t know what the live journal reads but any way you put it, the time is a little late for writing. A little perfect for sleeping (note to self, write something on whether or not a thing can be a little perfect. Modifiers should be used lightly like spices). But my tender stomach is awake due to a RED, which I shouldn’t have even drunk. Ironically enough, the thing that usually settles my stomach is a little carbonate, and the RED was carbonated. I may have to take some CaCO3 or just some Rolaids. 

So, whether you think my writings don’t line up, or whether you think I’m deep, just remember what I’ve said here. My ideas are constantly changing and my writing reflects this. What is true in my life one day can be false the next. Also, when you read my writing it’s good to remember that I write like I talk. This means huge tangents I go off on and a serious tendency to ramble. I apologise for my manner but not for my content.

Goodnight, friends o’ mine,

Doctor.